As a death doula, sometimes I chant with my clients, “I’m of nature to grow old, I’m of nature to get sick, I’m of nature to die.” This Buddhist mantra reminds us that our mortality is something to contemplate and accept regularly.
Maybe even embrace.
When recent illnesses and injuries, that come from getting older, required me to seek out ways other than cycling to stay fit, I resisted. “I don’t want to,” became my mantra for a minute.
Sometimes I’m my own worst client.
I wanted to continue cycling—it kept me connected to a specific community and way of life. I cleared my mind, thought things through, worked off stress, got some exercise, and enjoyed a healthy lifestyle.
That’s the voice I listened to, instead of what my body was saying. By ignoring my injuries and illnesses, I clung to something that no longer served me.
And so, I suffered.
It took some time to recognize the signs. Doesn’t it always?
While traveling and away from my bike, I found other ways to stay fit. I had to admit that I felt better physically. I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
Ultimately, I wanted to continue feeling good. So, I focused on that. I focused on the joy donating or selling my bicycle and accessories would give me. Sharing them with someone who could use them. Someone who’d derive joy and gain better health as a result.
I paired them with other treasured items, the last physical remnants of relationships long gone—a dress I wore in a wedding, bike fits given to me by someone I loved. It was time to say goodbye to all of them.
So, I brought everything to a charity store in my neighborhood. It took a minute, but when I handed them over to the clerk, I smiled.
And so, it was done. In the end, releasing them wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.
It never is.